Saturday, October 18, 2008

I miss my hair!

Yes I've gone and done it again. I've broke down and got a trim from a professional. I said I only wanted two inches but I think he cut up to four, maybe more. I thought by going to a barber, they wouldn't be hair butchers, but I guess I was wrong. Before the cut, it was almost hip length and now its above waist. Grrr! Since hair grows only 1/2in a month, it could take almost a year to grow that much back. My bf thinks I crazy, cuz its just hair after all, "It will grow back," he says. Those who do not have long hair just dont get it. They don't understand the time and care that it takes in growing it and the pride and attachment that comes with it. Cutting it can be compared to like cutting off an arm or a leg. Some people even cry when a significant amount is cut off, either willingly or not. I am grateful that it wasnt more. The plus side is that it is much healthier, it was starting to tangle like mad and started to drive me crazy. This experience has made vow to take care of my hair better so that it can grow long and healthy again.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Meme- you are what you eat

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. (If you don't have a strikethrough option like me, just leave it the way it is)
4) Added by me: Italicize what you would like to try

1. Venison. I had this at a friends house, didn't know what it was until they told me and it was very good
2. Nettle tea3. Huevos rancheros.
4. Steak tartare.
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding.
7. Cheese fondue.
8. Carp
9. Borscht.
10. Baba ghanoush. I love this stuff
11. Calamari. This is a requirment of being Italian
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi. I love curry
15. Hot dog from a street cart.
16. Epoisses. sounds very yummy
17. Black truffle.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes. And I have also had something called mead which made from honey- very familiar to the Rennies out there ;)
19. Steamed pork buns.
20. Pistachio ice cream.
21. Heirloom tomatoes.
22. Fresh wild berries. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and currants
23. Foie gras.
24. Rice and beans.
25. Brawn, or head cheese.
26.Raw Scotch Bonnet Pepper
27. Dulce de leche. .
28. Oysters. cooked and raw
29. Baklava. Soooo good and I also have a great recipe for it if anyone is interested
30. Bagna cauda.
31. Wasabi peas.
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl. I've clam chowder without the sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi I've had sweet lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar.
37. Clotted cream tea.
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O- do jello shots count, LOL
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42.Whole insects. yuck!
43. Phaal- hmm might be too spicy for me
44. Goat’s milk. Would like to try. I do drink raw milk though
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more.
46. Fugu- wouldnt take that chance
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut.
50. Sea urchin.
51. Prickly pear.
52. Umeboshi. doesnt look appetizing
53. Abalone. see above
54. Paneer.
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal.
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV.
59. Poutine.
60. Carob chips- dont like it, chocolate is waaay better
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads.
63. Kaolin- why on earth-pun intended- would you eat clay? Unless you have pica
64. Currywurst. sounds interesting
65. Durian.
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis. nor would I ever eat scrapple, which is basically the same without the oatmeal and sheep's stomach
69. Fried plantain.
70. Chitterlings, and or andouetille
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini- I've only had caviar
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill.
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail. it was ok, dont think I would have it again though
79. Lapsang souchong.
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky- I heart pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare.
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate.
91. Spam. I never actually tried this, it reminds me too much like scrapple- all the ground up parts, I need to work up my courage
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano- chicken mole yum!
96. Bagel and lox.
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Dear Prudence: fat and unlovable

I've been reading Dear Prudence for a few years now, back when it was written by Margo Howard. Now its run by Emily Yoffe, whom I am starting not to like very much. In her latest column, one of the answers she gave really ticked me off. A young girl wrote in (her question was even featured in Slate V, "Heavier and Hard Up."- scroll about half way down the page) asking what she should do about her boyfriend, who now finds her unattractive because she has gone up two dress sizes in a year- from a 16 to a 20.

Now my first reaction was she needs to see a doctor, because when you gain that much weight in a such as short period of time, there is probably something going on. But does Prudie think about that? 3 guesses to what her answer was. "ZOMG you has the fatz, you need to stop stuffing your big fat face, you disgusting pig and get off your lazy fat ass and start excercising you SLOTH! Not once does she advice that the weight gain could be related to something like hypothyroidism or PCOS. She just automatically assumes that she eats baby flavored donuts and sits on her butt all day.

I feel bad for the poor girl. She was probably expecting some good advice and all she got was fat hating drivvel. What if she hated herself already and this just added to her low self esteem. What if she now thinks she is so fat and ugly that she doesnt deserved to be loved for who she is. But on the other hand, maybe she is going to take this with a grain of salt and say "fuck you" to her loser boyfriend and find someone who will love her no matter what she looks like. I hope its the latter.

If enough FAers read this column and write to her saying that she is wrong about this, maybe she'll issue and apology. I remember when Margo was writing, she admitted that she was wrong when some of her readers pointed it out and issued an apology (I dont remeber what it was). Maybe Emily will realize this and issue one too, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

I do NOT need to eat less and excercise more!

I've learned a lesson: I will never think I am immune to fat discrimination from doctors ever AGAIN!

Over the past 5 months I have gained 20lbs, have experienced fatigue and hbp. So I went to see my PCP and she asked me about my diet and exercise. I told her I eat healthy and exercise and wanted my thyroid tested. The results came back negative and again she implied it was my lifestyle. I decided to get another opinion. It was the same BS: eat less and exercise more and see a nutritionist. I insisted that it wasn't the case. The look he gave me was priceless! I practically had to beg him to order more tests and he begrudgingly did so. He said whatever is going on with me that I still need to try to loose weight. WTF?! Did you ever think whatever I have is causing the weight gain genius? So I went for the tests last week and have an appt with the physicians assistant next week. Hopefully she will listen and be sympathetic. But I'm not going to hold my breath.

Friday, May 9, 2008

My journey to Fat Acceptance

This is my very first post. I am in no way a professional writer nor claim to be one, so there may be grammatical errors that I am not aware of. That being said, I am going to talk about my journey to to FA. Here is some back round info:

I was always chubby as a child, was never put on a diet per say but if I wanted a second piece of cake or more ice cream, my mother said no, I know she meant well. I didn't have to worry about clothing until middle-school, prior to that I went to a private school and wore uniforms. I remember that I couldn't buy clothes at the "cool" stores such as the Limited Too, because none of the clothes there fit me. Middle-school and high-school were the usual horrible experience for the fat kid. During high school, I did diet occasionally and in 11th grade I took my first diet pill, don't remember the name of it, but it did contain the now banned ephedra. Lost a fair amount of weight, I think 20lbs, but stopped because I couldn't stand the side effects. Guess what happened when I stopped taking it? Yup I gained the weight back. The smallest size I have ever been was a 10 during my first year of college but that was due to a medical condition which made me lose my appetite. What a way to lose weight I thought. But I wasn't happy, I wanted to be a size 8. Once I got the condition under control, the weight was gained back. A few years after, I tried weight watchers and lost some weight, but I would ruin my diet because I was soooo hungry and would binge, feel guilty and try to be "good" again. That was the last "real" diet I was on. Occasionally I would try to eat healthier and exercise more, but I couldn't lose weight. I felt like a failure that I couldn't. I guess I had The Fantasy of Being Thin. I thought if I just lost the weight, I would have a great job, have more friends and find the perfect guy.

I think the thing that started to change my viewpoint was when I first started to study Wicca and paganism. Most but not all the people I met in the community were fat. And for the most part, they were OK with it and accepted and loved their bodies. There was no talk of constant dieting and weight loss. Now this is IMHO, but I believe it is due to the fact that they believed that this is the way the God and Goddess created them and that they accept that. Also another reason could be that in many depictions of the Goddess, she is also fat or at least rubenesque. Inadvertently, paganism also introduced me to Renaissance Faires, where I saw beautiful fat women in gorgeous garb flaunting their curves and loving it.

I still had my bad fat days, I still ate healthy and exercised, never losing weight. But most days I felt good about myself and beautiful. I recently went back to school and took Speech Communication. One of the first assignments was the Culture of Me, in which we had to write about ourselves. In one part, I mentioned that sometimes I am self-conscience about my weight. When I got the graded paper back, my professor wrote in the margins " As they say, the rest is history. I have been part of the fat/body acceptance movement for 4 months now and I have never felt better about myself. I refuse to diet and obsess about what I eat. I practice HAES to the best that I can and advocate for fat acceptance. I know that I am only beginning this journey, but I am happy the way I am.